TrollQuest
by Ashora123
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto turn into sworn enemies after Sasuke commits a brutal murder of an innocent being. Chris Hansen captures nortorius pedophile named Roscuro Rendell.
1. Chapter 1

_TROLLQUEST!_

_Naruto and Sasuke walked down a dusty path. Sasuke wore his fur coat, made from wolf fur. He loved fur, very much so. Naruto on the other hand, pitied the animals slain for the purpose of his vanity. Sasuke, well, he didn't agree with Naruto there. He wore fur because he loved nature._

_Naruto sighed, "I really hate when you wear fur around me, can ye not be courteous and ease my eyes of this murderous sight?"_

"_Naruto, shut up! I can wear all the damn animals I wanna!"_

"_B-but!"_

_Sasuke rubbed his furry shoulder, 'Such fine luxury!"_

_Naruto teared up, "Peta will be avenged…"_

_When Sasuke was about to call Naruto out on his Bullshit, Roscuro Rendell (My OC) was walking down the path towards them, as usual, looking happy and grinning. Sasuke sighed. Behind Roscuro was his young teenage daughter, Romsca (another OC), chewing on a meat stick. This girl was a full fledged Carnitarian, though her Uncle Rudolf (OC) secretly puts fruit juices in her drinks to prevent scurvy, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Roscuro stopped in front of them, grinning, 'Guess whaaaat !"_

"_Oh gee, I wonder…" Sasuke said._

_Roscuro grinned wider, "I met this 13 year old girl on the internet. She's funny, flirty, sexy and guess what, she's an undercover cop, how cool is that?"_

'_Glorious." Sasuke sighed._

"_Ross, no! That's a cop trying to-"_

_Sasuke growled, because he was a wolf on the inside, like most teenagers. He also liked to wear wolfy ears. Unlike the faux fur ears one can buy at Hot Topic, his were real, tanned wolf ears. This offended Naruto, as well as everyone else, because everyone is a sensitive jerk and can't accept people for what they wear, but it's okay, cause everything dies eventually. _

"_Sasuke, don't grrr me cause I'm trying to warn a sick pervert and protect his life."_

"_Well, I'm going to go meet her, buy!" Roscuro ran off somewhere into the woods. His daughter didn't follow, she just stared at a widdle fuffy wuffy rabbit in the ditch, hungrily. This girl could eat things raw man, raw._

_Sasuke looked at the rabbit as if was in a fur salon buying a new coat. _

_It was on._

_He started stamping that thing into the ground with his boots and stamped and stomped until the screaming subsided. Reddish orange blood filled the ditch water. Why it was orange, well, there must've been some oil 4 wheeler oil in the ditch water, no one knew for sure. Though, years ago, Konoha's ditch diggers filled the ditches with their own crap, and they ate a lot of cheesy tacos._

_Romsca turned her nose up at the slain beast. She had Mysophobia, the fear of dirt or ground. She wouldn't eat plants because of this. This is why she is admired by many. She makes a stand against Peta, who always sends waves of attacks after this Carnitarian._

_Naruto screamed and punched a tree so many times he must've broke his wrist. He scream and screamed, 'RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAH!" Tears flew everywhere, literally soaking the ground. "PETA WILL GET YOU SASUKE! INGRID NEWKIRK WILL WEAR YOUR PATHETIC HIDE!"_

_Sasuke was skinning the beautiful pelt. He planned on making some nice trim for his gloves. "Oh big baby! Go do it!"_

"_I will! I will!" Naruto ran off, occasionally falling down, because he was blinded by his tears of tears._

_He will get his revenge, by using Ingrid Newkirk._

_Meanwhile…._

_Roscuro arrived at this so called, 13 year old's house, and talked to her for a minute. He really like young ladies. _

"_I'm going to get the laundry out, sir, you sit there at the counter."_

'_Alright baby" He smirked._

_Chris Hansen came from around the corner of the hall, "Have a seat, sir"_

'_What?" Roscuro obviously never seen To Catch A Predator. _

"_Why did you come here?"_

"_Who are you and why are you ruining my fun? I came here to get some!"_

_Naruto arrived at the Peta headquarters in Norfolk Virginia, and he stared at Ingrid Newkirk, 'M'lady, my friend…ex friend… wears fur… and … he stamped a rabbit to death with his boots."_

_She crossed her arms and leaned back in her pleather chair, 'We shall make him a visit, yesssssss."_

_To Be Continued…_


	2. Chapter 2

Taken off a cyber sex chat.

This is how Roscuro Rendell trolls the internet.

RosscuroRoss: Hey

KaylieHoneyGurl: Hi

RosscuroRoss: Is this the anime sex chat?

KaylieHoneyGurl: Yes, who are you?

RosscuroRoss: Hm, Sasuke, he's a badass.

KaylieHoneyGurl: Yes he is. Hot too.

RosscuroRoss: You start, cause I'm at a loss here, kinda like writer's block, though… more like sex block.

KaylieHoneyGurl: I'm playing my own OC, she's an Uchiha like Sasuke. Her name's RoseThorn. Has black hair, purple streaks and a white tail with a pink tip. She also has red uchiha eyes.

RosscuroRoss: Can we be related?

KaylieHoneyGurl: Incest? Why?

RosscuroRoss: They're Uchihas. Same Clan.

KaylieHoneyGurl: But they not…

RosscuroRoss: Yes, cause the definition of a clan is 'sharing an ancestor" therefore, they can be related. And incest is hot anyhow.

KaylieHoneyGurl: Okay, well, let's start… I take off my clothes and brush my body against yours.

RosscuroRoss: WAIT!

KaylieHoneyGurl: What?

RosscuroRoss: How are we related?

KaylieHoneyGurl: I dunno, siblings?

RosscuroRoss: Yes.

KaylieHoneyGurl: Okay, I brush my body against you, my brother.

RosscuroRoss: I pant eagerly and take off my pants.

KaylieHoneyGurl: I stare at your reddening unit.

RosscuroRoss: I smirk.

KaylieHoneyGurl: I reach over to touch it.

RosscuroRoss: WAIT!

KaylieHoneyGurl: Yes?

RosscuroRoss: Can I be your uncle?

KaylieHoneyGurl: But, you're my brother?

RosscuroRoss: No, I'm your uncle.

KaylieHoneyGurl: Ohkay

RosscuroRoss: I moan as your touch it up.

RosscuroRoss: And then I leak some.

KaylieHoneyGurl: I crouch down and lick up the cottage cheese.

RosscuroRoss: Interesting analogy… anyways: I grunt like a hippo.

KaylieHoneyGurl: I like the head.

KaylieHoneyGurl: *Lick*

RosscuroRoss: I grab your hair and yank you up!

KaylieHoneyGurl: Rough Uncle Sasuke ;)

RosscuroRoss: I like something to grab onto. So anyways, I yank you up and smack your thick ass.

KaylieHoneyGurl: Thick?

RosscuroRoss: Yes, Uncle like a thick ass.

KaylieHoneyGurl: But Rosethorn weighs only 95lbs

RosscuroRoss: A 95 lbs chick can still have a thick ass.

KaylieHoneyGurl: Not really.

RosscuroRoss: Can we continue?

KaylieHoneyGurl: I arch my back and meow like a neko.

RosscuroRoss: I groan like a horney troll.

KaylieHoneyGurl: I meow, now in heat, begging for my uncle to slide it in.

RosscuroRoss: WHOA! WAIT!

KaylieHoneyGurl: …

RosscuroRoss: You gotta say a certain thing to get me going, or else I go limp.

KaylieHoneyGurl: What is it?

RosscuroRoss: Yarr

KaylieHoneyGurl: Okay. I say Yarr

RosscuroRoss: Louder ho!

KaylieHoneyGurl: Yaarrrr

RosscuroRoss: LOSING URGE! YAR IT!

KaylieHoneyGurl: 

RosscuroRoss: That's it! I mount that tank of an ass

KaylieHoneyGurl: Tank!

RosscuroRoss: WAIT! I'm not your Uncle!

KaylieHoneyGurl: Then who are you!

RosscuroRoss: I'm your grandpa.

KaylieHoneyGurl: WTF?

RosscuroRoss: I'm Grandpu! SAY IT!

KaylieHoneyGurl: Grandpu…

RosscuroRoss: Yaaar Grandpu!

KaylieHoneyGurl: I'm gonna go…

RosscuroRoss: No you stay here bitch and you fuck grandpu!

RosscuroRoss: SAY IT AND DO IT!

KaylieHoneyGurl: YAAAAAR GRANDPU!

RosscuroRoss: I cum green slop all in that fat ass.

KaylieHoneyGurl: You fckn freak!

RosscuroRoss: Grandpu got an STD from yo sista! Don't hate the green cum.

KaylieHoneyGurl: You have a sick fetish, you freak.

RosscuroRoss: I rip off your head.

RosscuroRoss: Ram it up your ass.

KaylieHoneyGurl: WTF?

RosscuroRoss: Spread my ass cheeks and shit down yo throat.

KaylieHoneyGurl: You're a pig!

RosscuroRoss: You're ass is a pig, and it just winked at me.

KaylieHoneyGurl: You're insulting my OC you twit!

RosscuroRoss: You don't even know what a twit is you twit!

KaylieHoneyGurl: I'm ignoring.

RosscuroRoss: Baby, I'm sorry.

KaylieHoneyGurl: Bye!

RosscuroRoss: Now get back here you whore and fuck grandpa pat!

KaylieHoneyGurl: You're a freak!

RosscuroRoss: And you're the owner of a big ass Mary Sue.

RosscuroRoss: Who's full of my shit chunks now.

RosscuroRoss: Blimy, I didn't have any corn!

KaylieHoneyGurl: Asshole, piece of shit.

RosscuroRoss: Aspie.

RosscuroRoss: Baby?

RosscuroRoss:I'm sorry…

RosscuroRoss: Man, I'm hard right now.

RosscuroRoss: Get on me, you ho!

KaylieHoneyGurl: USER HAS LOGGED OUT


End file.
